


Hermione's Gift

by Roilena



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Chickens, Drabble, F/M, Innuendo, Married Life, Mild Language, fowl puns, just a silly story, what was i thinking when i wrote this?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:00:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26579476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roilena/pseuds/Roilena
Summary: Hermione gives her husband a gift and it's something he'd never think to receive.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 42





	Hermione's Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Submissive Bookmark (Myella)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myella/gifts), [Vesperswan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vesperswan/gifts).



> Hey all, this is just a silly little story I put together after my partner in crime and literary works, Submissive Bookmark (Myella) posted a picture in our Discord with the caption of: What if Hermione gives Lucius a chicken? 
> 
> Take a moment to read it and I hope it will brighten someone's day, we all need a chuckle every so often. 
> 
> Special thanks to VesperSwan for taking the time to make the picture for this story. You can see it here: https://vesperswan.tumblr.com/post/629872528929783808/little-pretty-for-a-fun-drabble-written-by-my

Lucius stared at the rather large innocuous box and then up at Hermione. He could see the mischief dancing in her cinnamon coloured eyes. He felt both flattered at receiving a gift from her and apprehensive also at receiving a gift from her. She’d taken to giving him some of the most ridiculous and thoughtful gifts.

“Well? Are you going to open it?”

He could see that she was practically vibrating with excitement.

“It’s not going to explode and rain glittering confetti all over my office, will it?”

Hermione rolled her eyes at him and said, “Just open it already!”

“Okay, my dear.”

Surreptitiously Lucius cast a detection spell over the gift. There was nothing malicious. Swallowing hard Lucius then grasped the green velvet ribbon, tied in a neat bow around the box and pulled. Nothing happened and he cleared his throat at the little huffing laugh Hermione let out at his braced reaction.

Lifting the lid from the box he looked over the edge and raised his eyebrow before pulling the sides of the box open and there standing among his ledgers and account books was a chicken. It was mostly white, with long neck feathers that looked very much like his hair when it wasn’t tied back. The breast feathers also reminded him of his favorite black and gold brocade waistcoat.

The chicken began to strut across his desk and Lucius’ eyes widened when he saw the exceptionally long tail feathers. They could almost put his albino peacocks to shame.

“You-you bought me a chicken? Why?”

“It’s a rooster actually. A Yokohama rooster to be precise. It’s a German breed of fancy chicken, with unusual coloring and very long tail-feathers. The breed was created by Hugo du Roi in the 1880’s, and is derived from the ornamental birds brought to Europe from Japan in the second half of the nineteenth century. It’s also known as the Phoenix chicken.” Hermione recited no doubt from some book she’d picked up from somewhere.

“Thank you, Encyclopedia Britannica... I would think that Dumbledore would have gotten a kick out of having a Phoenix chicken. But it still doesn’t answer my question. Why?”

“Do I really need to have a reason why to gift, my lover… My husband with something?” she tried to pout petulantly, but Lucious could see she was having too much fun watching his reaction to pull it off successfully.

“The giving of a gift is always appreciated, darling. But why a rooster? Also, why one with such lustrius plumage?” Lucius asked while striding around his desk and pulling her close against him and lowering his head to give her a kiss.

“Shouldn’t it be obvious? He reminds me of you,” Hermione murmured against his lips.

Lucius reared back sputtering, “Re-reminds you of m-me?! How can a cockerel possibly remind you of me?” She could practically feel his hair begin to poof out like… well, like feathers.

“You can’t possibly have missed the similarities, could you darling? The long white-blond feathers and the breast feathers that look almost exactly like that embroidered waistcoat you like to wear? Besides, if we find a nice enough hen, it would be a great investment. Especially, if they compete in pageants and competitions.”

Lucius’ eyes took on a gleam at the word ‘investment’ and his own plumage began to smooth down as he began to think of the possibilities. He didn’t know much about chicken breeds, but he would be looking into it very soon.

“Alright, darling. You have me convinced, though how you still think that fowl could look anything like me is quite mind boggling. We should probably have the elves construct a coop for him and any hens we find. I don’t think I would like him to remain in my office.”

Just then there was a loud, “Bu-KAA!” and both Hermione and Lucius turned around to see the rooster let go of an extra loose turd on the parchment he was working on when she’d brought him the gift.

“Oh no! I’m sorry Lucius. The sooner we can get the coop set up the better. I really hope it wasn’t too important,” Hermione fretted before calling an elf and giving instructions to have a coop built quickly.

Lucius walked back over to his desk and looked down at the mess. His eyes scanned what he could still see of the document and began to chuckle.

“What? What is it?”

“Nothing to worry about my love. It seems Lucius the Rooster and I have the same opinion on this particular piece of parchment. It’s a request from the once Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, Delores Umbridge requesting my backing in her bid to regain her former position… It’s written in… What did you call them? Oh right, crayon. She even drew several tiny dark mark wearing kittens in the margins.”

“Oh dear, her stay in the Janus Thickey ward must be incredibly dull or she’s still incredibly delusional in thinking you’d possibly back her request. Though, I’m sure the medicine cart being rolled down the ward and sounding like galloping horses hooves, must set back her progress…” Hermione grinned cheekily, then her eyes widened as something occurred to her, “Lucius… Lucius the Rooster? Is that what you’re going to name him?”

“Why not? You did say he reminded you of me. Seems fitting enough don’t you think? Now…” he said as he pulled Hermione back up against his body, dipping his head to begin nibbling at her throat. “Why don’t we go upstairs and you can play all you like with my cock - eral and we can see if we can create a few chicks of our own?”

Hermione looked up at him and grinned saying, “Cock-a-doodle-doo!” before he turned on his heel and apparated them to the master suite leaving Lucius the Rooster to contentedly roost in his tall office chair.


End file.
